Who Knows, Who Cares

vua:

am i horny? no
am i jackin off anyways? maybe

bagmilk:

mom i can’t go to school today i’m ugly

feaqu:

thanks, apprehensive shark! 

feaqu:

thanks, apprehensive shark! 

witneyhouston:

me: hi, can i have a large—

starbucks employee: you mean a venti?

me: can we not do this 

rnushroom:

waiting for someone to text back like

image

monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

communistbakery:

snoia:

u kno when u hav many thing to do so u lay on the floor for long time

why is it cute and funny to talk like this you look like an idiot lmao

tightvaginas:

if ur gonna be nice to me there is a 59382% chance im gonna like u